Bright Pink Sea Turtles
by roguebludger105
Summary: Jack Sparrow's arrival in Port Royal, the truth about Mullroy and Murtogg, Commodore Norrigton dressed up as a woman, and thats just the first chapter! Please R&R! I've added a new chapter and more chapters will come soon!
1. Embarassing photos and the Bakersfields

This is the first scene of my first fanfic, the other scenes will be up and running as soon as I get some feedback.  
  
Today was not to be like any other day in Port Royal. No, it wasn't because today was to be the day of Norrington's promotion to Commodore. And it wasn't because Old Man Granger had just woken up from a 30 year coma only to find that he was somehow pregnant with the child of his evil twin Old Man Granger II. Those events are mere trifles compared to the arrival of one of the most feared, respected and fashionably dressed pirates in the whole of the Caribbean, Captain Jack Sparrow.  
  
At that moment, the semi-conscious Jack was drifting to shore on the back of a giant inflatable sea turtle. Where he got the sea turtle and why it was such an outrageous shade of pink was a mystery to Jack but who was he to ask questions? Realizing that he was nearing the dock Jack stood up unsteadily and tried to get his bearing. Before he could get that however, he crashed into the dock. He stood up, dusted himself off, and walked past the harbormaster who was glaring at him.  
  
"Excuse me, sir." said the harbormaster, grabbing Jack's arm, "But it costs a shilling to tie up your. er. boat at the docks."  
  
They both glanced at the giant inflatable turtle bobbing up and down in the water.  
  
"Hmmmm. well I've got some pretty embarrassing photos of you," Jack said tapping a brown satchel hanging over his shoulder, "that say otherwise!"  
  
"What the?" asked the harbormaster as he grabbed the photos out of the bag, "Sir! These are pictures of you! Dressed up as a woman with. with. Commodore Norrington!"  
  
"Excuse me? You don't know what you're talking about mate." Jack said grabbing the pictures back and examining them, "Oh dear, I must have left them in my other bag."  
  
Jack laughed awkwardly and grabbed a shilling from his pocket and tossed it to the harbormaster who was grinning at him and nodding. Jack staggered off the docks into the town and asked the nearest barrel of gun powder where he might find a ship. After waiting patiently for an answer but receiving none he decided to try and find one himself and started off in the direction of the Interceptor.  
  
The Interceptor, the ship Jack was currently staggering to, was being guarded by Mullroy and Murtogg Bakersfeild (no relation. well actually that's a lie. What Mullroy and Murtogg didn't know was that they were actually identical twins separated by birth because of a huge mock-up on the doctors part. While Mullroy stayed with his biological parents Murtogg was shipped of to India where he was adopted by the Bakersfeilds (no relation to the other Bakersfeilds. well actually that's a lie but we wont get into that now). When he was 20 he decided to move to Port Royal to try and find his long-lost twin brother but, much to his disappointment, only found a man who was his twin in every way except for the fact that his hair was 3 centimeters shorter. Oh well, that's the way life is isn't it. but anyway, what was I talking about? Oh yes Jack!) Jack, after having a short conversation about politics with a piece of wood, had arrived at the Interceptor where he was spotted by Mullroy and Murtogg Bakersfeild (no rela-. wait a second, haven't we covered this already).  
  
"Oi! You don't have permission to be on these docks!" Mullroy shouted.  
  
"Oh yeah? Well I have some pictures here that say otherwise." 


	2. Irishstyle and peacocks

Meanwhile, at the governor's house, the tailor's apprentice Will Turner was just arriving.  
  
He walked up to the big oak door and knocked.  
  
"Ah! Will. I trust you've brought Commodore's Norrington's gift?" asked Governor Swann, opening the door and leading Will into the hall. "Of course. He will be very pleased, I'm sure of it. The gift is of the highest quality." said Will lying the box he was carrying on a nearby table.  
  
He lifted off the lid and took out a pair of purple parachute pants. The governor smiled at the pants and said, "He does look good in purple. I'm glad we got rid of the old tradition of presenting the new commodore with a sword. This one's much more fun!"  
  
"May I?" asked Will trying on the pants.  
  
Governor Swann nodded and Will started doing the running-man, the robot, the drunken pirate captain, the drunken pirate captain irish-style and that cool thing that mc hammer does that kinda makes him look like a crab. Just as he was about to go into the splits, Elizabeth (the governor's daughter) descended down the stairs.  
  
"Good morning father isn't it a beautiful day? Oh Will I didn't see you there I simply adore those pants you must make me a pair!" she said in one breath.  
  
Will opened his mouth to tell her to bugger off and let him finish his routine but before he could she took another breath and said, "You know Will, I had a dream about you last night. I also had a dream about you father except you were an elephant which is odd because if you were any kind of animal you would definitely be a peacock, wait, what was I saying? Oh yes, would you like to hear about my dream about you Will?"  
  
"Does it involve whipped cream?" he asked hopefully.  
  
"No silly!"  
  
"Then I think I'll pass." He said. He took off the pants, said his goodbyes to the governor and his daughter than set off for the tailor's. 


	3. RubberMonkeyButtWiggles and the Faceless...

Elizabeth stuck out her bottom lip and started to whimper.  
  
"Gee!" she said under her breath, "I put on this stupid dress, wear a plate on my head and still, he just completely ignores me! He thinks he's so great with his parachute pants well. I'll show him! I'll show everyone!" she tried to laugh maniacally but all she could muster was a giggle.  
  
Since her father's attention was elsewhere, and by elsewhere I mean the mirror, Elizabeth snuck down the stairs unnoticed and put on the purple parachute pants. She started dancing around, doing such popular moves as the mashed potato, the sautéed tomato and the dance move that is rumored to be the cause of the Great Confusion of 1616, the rubber-monkey-butt-wiggle, a move that, if done properly, makes you look like you've just swallowed something very hot and are trying to signal to someone very far away that you would like a cold drink, or possibly a good kick up the arse. Elizabeth moonwalked out of the door and onto the balcony that overlooked the docks and due to a very bad judgement of distance on her part, fell off the edge and landed in the water.  
  
Meanwhile, on the Interceptor.  
  
"So I says to the guy I says, 'Listen buddy! How was I supposed to know she was only 15' and then he says."  
  
plop  
  
"He said plop?" asked Murtogg in amazement "Now that must have taken guts."  
  
"What? I didn't say plop?" Jack said looking around him wildly to try and find who did. He looked over the edge of the Interceptor, which he only managed to get onboard of by offering the guards chocolate, and saw a young woman, and a blur of purple, sinking fast in the water.  
  
"Hmm. I think I'm right in assuming that you lot won't be saving her." He said, looking at the men who's faces were smeared with chocolate in front of him.  
  
"Normally I would," Mullroy said, "but my doctor says that I should avoid saving damsels who are in distress as it could be seriously damaging to my health." He let out a weak cough and sat down.  
  
Jack raised an eyebrow and looked at Murtogg.  
  
"Oh, I uh. you see. I just had lunch about half an hour ago and you shouldn't really swim 'till an hour after eating so. I'll just stay here." He said, sitting down next to Mullroy and smiling.  
  
Jack rolled his eyes and took off his hat, satchel and the rest of his effects. He dived into the water and swam towards the D.I.D. who had almost reached the bottom. He grabbed her round the waist and started to swim to the surface but when he reached it, they started to sink again. He looked for what was weighing them down and saw the purple parachute pants. He took them off her, stared at them for a bit, decided that purple wasn't his colour, and swam for the surface again. He reached the docks where Mullroy and Murtogg were waiting and handed them the girl then pulled himself up onto the dock.  
  
"She's not breathing!" Murtogg shouted to no one in particular.  
  
"Out of the way!" Jack said pushing him aside and cutting her corset from her.  
  
The girl gasped for breath, fainted, came to, mumbled a few incoherent things about the weather, then fainted again.  
  
"I never would've thought of that!" Mullroy said, picking up the corset and examining it.  
  
"Clearly you've never been over to Michael Jackson's for dinner!" (zing!) Jack chuckled.  
  
"Hold it right there!" shouted a voice that Jack knew only too well from behind. (double-zing! (this will only make sense later))  
  
He slowly turned around and looked up at the owner of the voice.  
  
"You?!" he said in disbelief.  
  
"Yes Jack, its me!" the voice continued with a hint of anger, "You never called"  
  
Dun Dun Dun!!!!!!!! Ok, the next chapter is coming really soon so don't worry, you'll soon find out who the mystery voice belongs to. I'll upload it as soon as possible cause I know none of you will eat, sleep or go to the bathroom until you find out! This chapter was kinda weak cause I needed to get that part out of the way but the next chapters will be much better, does anyone know if there is a limit to how many chapters you can have? If you do please write how many in your review! 


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